Index

Welcome to my Weird Writings!

This is my world of weirdness, where you will encounter strange sights, bizarre creatures and surreal events. Sit down for a while and let me share with you some of my short stories and poems, tales of animals and monsters, tales of unusual beasts and creatures, tales of…well, tales about weird stuff. Look at the title.

Some of these stories may include violence and foul language.


Poems

possum3
The Lemon Possum
 A possum named Bill has eaten little but garbage all his life, but then a special possum introduces him to a new eating sensation.

Nightmare Rhymes
Your favourite childhood nursery rhymes given a terrifying makeover.

Maisy the Happy Fairy
Can a cute little fairy bring joy to a dark and creepy forest?

Haikus About Possessions
You may have plenty to say about your prized possesions, but what do they have to say about you? (includes some crude humour)

More Nightmare Rhymes
More sinister nursery rhymes.

pigeons

Big Pigeon and Little Pigeon
A father pigeon has a talk with his son (includes some crude humour)

Ricky Raven
The story of the descendant of a famous literary figure…and his dreams of becoming a singer.

Planet of the Grapes
A monstrous grape has sinister plans for mankind.

The Lemon Possum 2
The Lemon Possum finds a new victim.

A Clown at Christmas
A clown and his holiday angst.

Daryl and Susie’s Christmas
A dragon and his adopted daughter face a festive monster.
catnbot
The Evil Dr. Meow
A mad scientist mutates herself into an anthropomorphic cat, which could be what she needs to conquer the world.

The Movie Goblin
A mischevious little creature who ruins your favourite flicks.

The Magnificent Mega Rat
A rodent becomes a superhero and attempts to save the day.

The White Rabbit’s New Job
That famous rabbit is late one too many times.

jokeshop
The Joke Shop
Not your usual kind of joke shop; check out their bizarre wares.

The Funny Robot
A scientist creates a comedic robot, one with an interesting sense of humour.

The Blob and the Brain
A poor little blob becomes a mad scientist’s experiment.

The Scarecrow and Mrs. Hen
A hen sees a scarecrow come to life; what is its purpose?

Loch Ness Cereal
What if Nessie had her own cereal?
olddrhubbard
Even More Nightmare Rhymes
No nursery rhyme is safe. (some blood)

Imaginary Friends
Musings on imaginary friends.

Cowboy Land
This moneymaking scheme can’t go wrong…can it?

We Think of Christmas in November
Why do we think of Christmas early?

dannycamel
Christmas with Danny the Camel and Julie the Rat
What do you get the rat that has everything?

A Wolf’s Christmas List
An unexpected letter to Santa. (mentions of violence)

The Singing Snake
A snake becomes a star.

Fred the Vampire Fox
The most feared animal of them all…or is there something worse out there? (mentions of blood)

The Easter Bunny’s a Mad Scientist
The Easter Bunny creates a creature to make his job easier.

The Lemon Possum’s Evil Easter
The Lemon Possum returns to ruin Easter.

ringmonster

The Ringmonster
Where is his circus?

Karl the Kangaroo
A kangaroo who owns a mobile games company makes his workers miserable…but why?

The Open Window
Don’t leave your windows open at night.

The Lemon Possum vs. Karl the Kangaroo
The battle of the century.

Today I’m Feeling Really Good
I certainly am.

helen
The Cow’s Cake
Helen the cow aspires to be a baker.

The World’s Best Pizza Place
A pizza place where the wares are a little too good.

The Man With A Jack-in-the-Box For A Head
A man’s unusual head hides a sinister surprise.

The Tree
A tree wants revenge on humanity.

caterpillarcoaster
The Caterpillar Roller Coaster
The musings of a roller coaster car with an eternal smile.

The Ghoul in the Arcade
The monster who sadistically spoils your fun.

One Day I Saw A Robot
The day I met a vicious, murderous robot.

My Haunted Home
Let me tell you about my unusual friends.

pizzawoman

Pizza Woman
The sad story of a woman with a pizza for a head.

A Visitor to my Haunted Home
A visit from a friend goes horribly wrong.

The Shower Snake
Cleanliness is next to ghoulishness.

A Pumpkin Complains Through Haiku
What does your pumpkin think when you carve it?

A Zombie on Halloween
The undead are said to arise from their graves every Halloween night…


Short Stories

monsterunderthebed
The Monster Under My Daughter’s Bed
A man finds out the truth about what lurks under his daughter’s bed.

A Gift For Christmas
A snake in a reptile house tries to understand Christmas.

Two Cats
A stray cat meets another stray cat, one that may be hiding something.

Birdsong
Three feline siblings are looking for a cook (some violence).

werebunny
The Easter Werewolf
The Easter Bunny becomes a werewolf.

Why I Don’t Buy My Daughter Sweets Anymore
What happens when a little girl wants a chocolate monster for Easter.

Barking Benjamin’s Easter Special
A cartoon dog attempts to spread Easter Cheer (some language)

They Only Laughed ‘Cause I Was Drunk
When making someone laugh can seem like a matter of life or death.

The Monsters’ Party
There’s a party for monsters in the old haunted house…but there’s more to it than meets the eye.
anneterry
A Duck and a Turtle
A young duck wants to make friends; will she find one in this turtle? (some language)

An Old Friend From University
A man tracks down his old friend from university, but her current line of work may surprise you…

A Horrible Wail
A monster’s undeserved punishment.

Do You Have A Favourite Toy? (Horror at the Panto #1)
Magic Chocolates (Horror at the Panto #2)
Everybody Loves The Baddie (Horror at the Panto #3)
Three stories about a pantomime…and the supernatural horrors it brings…

bertjenfor
Jenny and the Monster
Once upon a time, a little girl befriended a monster. Ten years later, the monster is still living in her basement ( some language).

The Gryphon
A gryphon from a magical land searches for her lost brother…who is the Gryphon from Alice in Wonderland.

Jenny and the Monster’s Christmas
Has Bert finally found his home? (some language)

Mr. Deer Man
An encounter with a hybrid of man and deer. (some violence)

Body and Soul
A supervillain’s robot henchwoman becomes human, which she may end up regretting.
ooziehenry
Heck Comes to Sloofiewoof Land
The once-cheerful Oozie has turned his beautiful world into a miserable wasteland; can a spectral rabbit convince him to restore Sloofiewoof Land to its former glory?

The Chocolate Egg
The tale of an Easter surprise (some language).

The Day Frollo Took Over Wonderland
The long-awaited crossover.

A Duck, a Snake and a Ghost
Anne the duck makes a new friend, one who helps introduce her to the Slithering Snake Spectre.

Reflections
A literally monstrous hitwoman reflects on her life and family.

butterflies
Percy and Katie
Two butterflies explore the wider world.

The Living House
A search for a living house with surprising results (some language).

The Kangaroo and the Comedian
Karl the Kangaroo returns and a comedy show reveals a bit more about his past.

Dorothy Lost
A retelling of a classic story, where Dorothy finds herself in a confusing world full of bizarre creatures.

charlotte
Time Passes Quickly
A ghost and her reflections on her afterlife.

Karl’s Daughter
Karl the Kangaroo once adopted a little kangaroo called Sadie…and it led to the worst moment of his life ( some language).

The Lemon Possum vs. Karl the Kangaroo Round 2
The Lemon Possum returns to get revenge on Karl, and this time, she isn’t kidding around.

bowlingballpeople

The Bowling Ball People
What was supposed to be a night at the lanes becomes a journey to another dimension.

Lerrs
An encounter with a certain type of vampire.

Joke Books
Talk about a situation that’s beyond a joke. (some crude humour)

The Hunter
A sheep finds himself in a familiar but distorted world, pursued by a sinister creature. (some bloody violence)

Night of the Pumpkin Woman
A demonic creature is summoned, but for what purpose? (mention of blood)

I Love October
October is a very special month for some people.


Longer Stories

gwender
The Little Shark

A retelling of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid, starring a shark named Derek. Derek is sick of being a shark and after saving a human from drowning, decides he wants to be human himself. He is made human thanks to the experiments of a scientific sea-witch, yet all is not well…

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12

darylndenisecollage2
Daryl and Denise

A tale of two dragons; a former minion of the evil witch Aosoth looking to start a new life, and a heroine saving her world from evil despite the prejudice levelled her way. These two are brought together when Aosoth is resurrected, and Denise may know something about Daryl he doesn’t… (some violence)

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Epilogue

Advertisements