Index

wwtent

Welcome to my Weird Writings!

This is my world of weirdness, where you will encounter strange sights, bizarre creatures and surreal events. Sit down for a while and let me share with you some of my short stories and poems, tales of animals and monsters, tales of unusual beasts and creatures, tales of…well, tales about weird stuff. Look at the title.

Some of these stories may include violence and foul language.

Poems
Short Stories
Longer Stories
Themed Indexes


Poems

possum3
The Lemon Possum
 A possum named Bill has eaten little but garbage all his life, but then a special possum introduces him to a new eating sensation.

Nightmare Rhymes
Your favourite childhood nursery rhymes given a terrifying makeover.

Maisy the Happy Fairy
Can a cute little fairy bring joy to a dark and creepy forest?

Haikus About Possessions
You may have plenty to say about your prized possesions, but what do they have to say about you? (includes some crude humour)

More Nightmare Rhymes
More sinister nursery rhymes.

pigeons

Big Pigeon and Little Pigeon
A father pigeon has a talk with his son (includes some crude humour)

Ricky Raven
The story of the descendant of a famous literary figure…and his dreams of becoming a singer.

Planet of the Grapes
A monstrous grape has sinister plans for mankind.

The Lemon Possum 2
The Lemon Possum finds a new victim.

A Clown at Christmas
A clown and his holiday angst.

Daryl and Susie’s Christmas
A dragon and his adopted daughter face a festive monster.
catnbot
The Evil Dr. Meow
A mad scientist mutates herself into an anthropomorphic cat, which could be what she needs to conquer the world.

The Movie Goblin
A mischevious little creature who ruins your favourite flicks.

The Magnificent Mega Rat
A rodent becomes a superhero and attempts to save the day.

The White Rabbit’s New Job
That famous rabbit is late one too many times.

jokeshop
The Joke Shop
Not your usual kind of joke shop; check out their bizarre wares.

The Funny Robot
A scientist creates a comedic robot, one with an interesting sense of humour.

The Blob and the Brain
A poor little blob becomes a mad scientist’s experiment.

The Scarecrow and Mrs. Hen
A hen sees a scarecrow come to life; what is its purpose?

Loch Ness Cereal
What if Nessie had her own cereal?
olddrhubbard
Even More Nightmare Rhymes
No nursery rhyme is safe. (some blood)

Imaginary Friends
Musings on imaginary friends.

Cowboy Land
This moneymaking scheme can’t go wrong…can it?

We Think of Christmas in November
Why do we think of Christmas early?

dannycamel
Christmas with Danny the Camel and Julie the Rat
What do you get the rat that has everything?

A Wolf’s Christmas List
An unexpected letter to Santa. (mentions of violence)

The Singing Snake
A snake becomes a star.

Fred the Vampire Fox
The most feared animal of them all…or is there something worse out there? (mentions of blood)

The Easter Bunny’s a Mad Scientist
The Easter Bunny creates a creature to make his job easier.

The Lemon Possum’s Evil Easter
The Lemon Possum returns to ruin Easter.

ringmonster

The Ringmonster
Where is his circus?

Karl the Kangaroo
A kangaroo who owns a mobile games company makes his workers miserable…but why?

The Open Window
Don’t leave your windows open at night.

The Lemon Possum vs. Karl the Kangaroo
The battle of the century.

Today I’m Feeling Really Good
I certainly am.

helen
The Cow’s Cake
Helen the cow aspires to be a baker.

The World’s Best Pizza Place
A pizza place where the wares are a little too good.

The Man With A Jack-in-the-Box For A Head
A man’s unusual head hides a sinister surprise.

The Tree
A tree wants revenge on humanity.

caterpillarcoaster
The Caterpillar Roller Coaster
The musings of a roller coaster car with an eternal smile.

The Ghoul in the Arcade
The monster who sadistically spoils your fun.

One Day I Saw A Robot
The day I met a vicious, murderous robot.

My Haunted Home
Let me tell you about my unusual friends.

pizzawoman

Pizza Woman
The sad story of a woman with a pizza for a head.

A Visitor to my Haunted Home
A visit from a friend goes horribly wrong.

The Shower Snake
Cleanliness is next to ghoulishness.

A Pumpkin Complains Through Haiku
What does your pumpkin think when you carve it?

A Zombie on Halloween
The undead are said to arise from their graves every Halloween night…

The Haunted Farm
Why go to a farm filled with monsters?

patty

The Demon in the Supermarket
Why is a demon from Hell stocking shelves?

Ricky Raven Meets a Horror Writer
Ricky returns to help a conflicted horror writer.

I Brought A Snowman to Life One Day
There’s more than one way to bring a snowman to life.

Santa’s Pets
Santa keeps more than just reindeer.

The Thing in the Shower
This creature’s not all wet.

nightmareman
The Nightmare Man
Got a problem with nightmares? Give him a call.

The Horrendous Creature That Lurks in the Shadows of the Forest
In the woods, there lies a monster who has something to show you…

I Love My Haunted Teddy
Even possessed toys can be fun.

ghostcowboy

The Ghostly Cowboy
You find ghosts in the strangest of places.

Easter Egg Hunt in the Haunted House
A holiday tradition made horrific.

Unicorns Love to Read
Do they really?

The Scariest Bird
What is the most frightening avian of them all?

A Cat Speaks to a Dog
Let sleeping cats lie.

witchcaff

Witch Caff
Even wicked witches like a nice coffee from time to time.

The Mashed Potato Man
A creature looking for a certain something from your kitchen.

Return of the Ringmonster
You’ve never rode a ghost train this scary.

xmaspossum

A Christmas Poem for July
The Lemon Possum now sets her sights on Santa.

The Perfect Cheese
The tale of a very determined rat.

A Monster Goes to the Seaside
A hungry monster finds his next meal.

Mr. Giraffe’s Butler
A man and his long-necked employer.

gardog

The Gardog
A dog that really grows on you.

The Haunted Theatre
Come and watch a special show.

The Monstrous Mongoose
He comes after snakes who don’t behave…

I’m Jealous of my Friend
A poem about two characters who are very similar yet very different.

gina

The Tragedy of Gina the Jolly Fawn
Even cartoon characters can get depressed (includes alcohol and death)

Jawbreaker the Jester
What do you do when no-one finds you funny?

A Sad Scarecrow
A scarecrow finds someone he can relate to.

freezerthing

The Thing in the Freezer
A cold character.

The Teddy Bears’ Pub
Where do your toys go?

Going Out With My Dog
You find plenty of interesting things when out and about.

Visiting Mr. Skeleton
He loves having guests over…

eviltoucan

The Evil Toucan
One bird you don’t want to mess with.

The Eyeballs
The eyes have it.

My Friend Gina
Gina is still troubled; can a friend help her?

The Clown’s Revenge
Don’t make a clown angry.

Apple Pie
Everybody loves apple pie, or do they?

nastygnome

The Nasty Gnome
He makes gardening a nightmare.

The Ringmonster’s Tunnel of Love
The Ringmonster’s latest attraction.

The Haunted Toadstool House
Even fairies can die.

In The Abandoned Laboratory
…something lurks.

scarywoman

Return of Nightmare Rhymes
More and more twisted nursery rhymes.

The Abominable Snowman Meets an Actual Snowman
The Yeti needs a makeover.

A Reality Check
An agitated animal has something to tell you.

ladylobster

Lady Lobster
Claws for alarm (some violence).

The Blue Balloon
A balloon goes where it is most needed.

Mr. Skeleton Goes For A Walk
Even the undead need some sunshine.

madscientistparty

The Mad Scientists Are Having A Party
The weirdest bash in town.

The Terror Tree
A squirrel seeks revenge.

Tick Tock
Tick tock. Tick tock.

Mr. Skeleton Goes to the Shops
Mr. Skeleton needs to pick up a few items.

ringmonsterhappy

The Ringmonster’s Show
The Ringmonster wants to celebrate 100 poems in style!

A Dog in a Dungeon
A dog held captive by a familiar face.

The Desert is All Ours
Lizards in love.

The Toys’ Cinema
Use your imagination.

drhen

Dr Hen
How fright-hen-ing (some violence).

A Poem About This Blog Being Three Years Old
A happy birthday indeed.

The Duchess
She has a suggestion on how to make your life easier.

A Boo Ghoul Gore Shocktober
A frightening proposal.

mrskeleton

Halloween with Mr. Skeleton
A certain corpse won’t be getting trick or treaters this year.

Mince Pies
A Christmas food so good, I eat it in October.

Witches Writing Poems
Even wicked spellcasters love verse.

roboscientist

I Built Myself A Robot Body
An evil scientist becomes more dangerous.

The Thing From The Freezer and the Ice Cream Van
A poem that’ll chill you.

The Hungry Hedgehog
A hedgehog gets a surprise.

The Unicorn
Does this unicorn mean salvation?

frankenstein

Frankenstein’s Reign of Terror
A famous monster spreads fear and panic.

The Thing From the Freezer on Halloween
Halloween will be cold this year…

The Abominable Snowman’s Halloween
A story about an overlooked monster.

Bored of Halloween
Even horror can get tiring.

Merry Bonfire Night
A time of year that deserves more attention.

lovebeingamonster

I Love Being A Monster
He really loves his work.

The Demon Reindeer
A flying fiend.

Lady Lobster And The Terrible Turkey
Carnage for a friend.

The Creepy Christmas Pudding
It feeds on the greedy.

freezerxmas

The Thing From The Freezer At Christmas
A normally-monstrous creature becomes jolly.

Gina the Jolly Reindeer
Haven’t you ever wanted to be a reindeer?

Snow White and the Seven Snakes
A truly happy ending for a famous heroine.

The Ghost On Top Of The Tree
A special decoration.

A Nice Handmade Gift
The best kind.

gangstrsnow

My Decorations
Decorations that truly mean a lot.

 


Short Stories

monsterunderthebed
The Monster Under My Daughter’s Bed
A man finds out the truth about what lurks under his daughter’s bed.

A Gift For Christmas
A snake in a reptile house tries to understand Christmas.

Two Cats
A stray cat meets another stray cat, one that may be hiding something.

Birdsong
Three feline siblings are looking for a cook (some violence).

werebunny
The Easter Werewolf
The Easter Bunny becomes a werewolf.

Why I Don’t Buy My Daughter Sweets Anymore
What happens when a little girl wants a chocolate monster for Easter.

Barking Benjamin’s Easter Special
A cartoon dog attempts to spread Easter Cheer (some language)

They Only Laughed ‘Cause I Was Drunk
When making someone laugh can seem like a matter of life or death.

The Monsters’ Party
There’s a party for monsters in the old haunted house…but there’s more to it than meets the eye.
anneterry
A Duck and a Turtle
A young duck wants to make friends; will she find one in this turtle? (some language)

An Old Friend From University
A man tracks down his old friend from university, but her current line of work may surprise you…

A Horrible Wail
A monster’s undeserved punishment.

Do You Have A Favourite Toy? (Horror at the Panto #1)
Magic Chocolates (Horror at the Panto #2)
Everybody Loves The Baddie (Horror at the Panto #3)
Three stories about a pantomime…and the supernatural horrors it brings…

bertjenfor
Jenny and the Monster
Once upon a time, a little girl befriended a monster. Ten years later, the monster is still living in her basement ( some language).

The Gryphon
A gryphon from a magical land searches for her lost brother…who is the Gryphon from Alice in Wonderland.

Jenny and the Monster’s Christmas
Has Bert finally found his home? (some language)

Mr. Deer Man
An encounter with a hybrid of man and deer. (some violence)

Body and Soul
A supervillain’s robot henchwoman becomes human, which she may end up regretting.
ooziehenry
Heck Comes to Sloofiewoof Land
The once-cheerful Oozie has turned his beautiful world into a miserable wasteland; can a spectral rabbit convince him to restore Sloofiewoof Land to its former glory? (some violence)

The Chocolate Egg
The tale of an Easter surprise (some language).

The Day Frollo Took Over Wonderland
The long-awaited crossover.

A Duck, a Snake and a Ghost
Anne the duck makes a new friend, one who helps introduce her to the Slithering Snake Spectre.

Reflections
A literally monstrous hitwoman reflects on her life and family.

butterflies
Percy and Katie
Two butterflies explore the wider world.

The Living House
A search for a living house with surprising results (some language).

The Kangaroo and the Comedian
Karl the Kangaroo returns and a comedy show reveals a bit more about his past.

Dorothy Lost
A retelling of a classic story, where Dorothy finds herself in a confusing world full of bizarre creatures.

charlotte
Time Passes Quickly
A ghost and her reflections on her afterlife.

Karl’s Daughter
Karl the Kangaroo once adopted a little kangaroo called Sadie…and it led to the worst moment of his life ( some language).

The Lemon Possum vs. Karl the Kangaroo Round 2
The Lemon Possum returns to get revenge on Karl, and this time, she isn’t kidding around.

bowlingballpeople

The Bowling Ball People
What was supposed to be a night at the lanes becomes a journey to another dimension.

Lerrs
An encounter with a certain type of vampire.

Joke Books
Talk about a situation that’s beyond a joke. (some crude humour)

The Hunter
A sheep finds himself in a familiar but distorted world, pursued by a sinister creature. (some bloody violence)

pumpkinwom

Night of the Pumpkin Woman
A demonic creature is summoned, but for what purpose? (mention of blood)

I Love October
October is a very special month for some people.

A Duck, a Snake and a Costume Shop
Anne the duck and Harry the snake get a sinister surprise when they go costume shopping.

Cinderpizza
Lisa the Pizza Woman faces her fairy godmother.

Two Christmas Trees
A real tree and an animatronic tree have a conversation.

mouseking

The Mouse Queen
A retelling of a Christmas classic, where mice get revenge on humanity and only a certain device can stop them.

The Elf
The creepy tale of a creepy decoration.

Karl Kangaroo’s Christmas Extravaganza
Lisa the Pizza Woman is to sing during Karl’s Christmas show, but then finds herself having to save it from evil.

Dear Susan
A woman finds out a dark secret about her ex-boyfriend (foul language, crude humour and violence).

theguide

The Museum
A young woman comes across a special museum with a monstrous guide (foul language and crude humour)

A Spider’s Solitude
A spider only wishes to be alone, away from humans…though he may have more in common with humanity than he thinks.

A Duck, a Snake and Valentine’s Day
Anne and Harry’s plans for Valentine’s Day go awry.

The Jigsaw Puzzle
The story of a jigsaw puzzle, and what happens what it’s completed…

The Garden of Live Flowers
Flowers can be good friends.

bremenmonsters2

The Monsters of Bremen
A group of four undead animals look for their place in the world (some blood).

My Roommate is a Comic Character
A relatable story (some crude humour).

A Night Out
A story told by a certain supervillain’s robot assistant.

The Rabbit
An unpleasant Easter surprise.

Easter’s Greatest Villain
A cruel businessman wants to steal Easter.

hare

The March Hare
The Mad Hatter’s best friend as you’ve never seen him before.

Silly Bunny
A magic trick doesn’t go as planned.

The Sandman and the Student
Not getting enough sleep is bad for you.

Succeed or Sustain
The worst game show ever.

nessaclub

A Glass of Beer
A space alien and her secret.

Bats Rats and Spiders
Ghosts come in all shapes and sizes.

The Return of Frollo
The stories you wrote when you were young still have merit.

emily

Flab and Glob
When art truly comes alive.

Fun With Henchmen
What would you do if you had monsters who obeyed you?

Animal Superheroes
Being an evil scientist isn’t that much fun…

Return of the Evil Queen
A bizarre world and its sinister secret.

lisadad

Father’s Day
What can Lisa get for her Dad?

Father-Daughter Time
Nothing like spending some time with your dad…

Collector’s Item
Crime doesn’t pay.

janehartem

The Mad Scientist’s Daughter
A woman seeks to get revenge on a certain superheroic quartet.

Revenge of the Mad Scientist’s Daughter
The final battle between good and evil.

Why Couldn’t The Dog Die?
A mystery that can’t be solved.

Clown Free Zone
You can’t escape clowns.

helenlooksup

A Cow Remembers Cakes
Helen the cow ponders on a choice she made.

The Adventures of the Rancid Rocking Rodents
The Slithering Super Snakes return, and witness another animal superhero team.

Gina and the Demons
Gina the doe wishes for her simpler life back.

The Canal Creatures
Even a relaxing cruise can turn chaotic.

headlesshorseman

Do You Like My Pumpkin Head?
A famous literary character, his prized possession and the sacrifice he had to make to get it.

Frogmalion
Imagine if frogs really could turn into princesses… (some nudity)

Looking for Ghosts
A certain bat looks for a certain rat and a certain spider (some death).

Emily’s House of Horrors
Gina the doe ends up in a haunted house of horrors.

The Ghost Train
Not just a fairground ride.

karlmirror

The Lemon Possum’s Funhouse
Karl has a frightful night.

My Haunted Memories
A certain ghostly mare remembers her life.

Jolly Jungleland
Ever wanted to escape into a world you created?

Saving Christmas
What if you had a chance to save Christmas?

meowxmas

Getting Ready for Christmas Early
It’s never too early for some Christmas fun.


Longer Stories

gwender
The Little Shark

A retelling of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid, starring a shark named Derek. Derek is sick of being a shark and after saving a human from drowning, decides he wants to be human himself. He is made human thanks to the experiments of a scientific sea-witch, yet all is not well…

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12

darylndenisecollage2
Daryl and Denise

A tale of two dragons; a former minion of the evil witch Aosoth looking to start a new life, and a heroine saving her world from evil despite the prejudice levelled her way. These two are brought together when Aosoth is resurrected, and Denise may know something about Daryl he doesn’t… (some violence)

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Epilogue

gruff

Gruff

Set after the fairy tale The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Big Billy Goat Gruff discovers a tribe of goats fighting against the dark magick of the Queen of Trolls. When his siblings get captured by the Queen, Big joins with the tribe to free them and defeat the Queen, but things may be darker than they seem (strong language, violence, sex and scenes some readers may find disturbing).

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Epilogue

derekinwonderland

Derek in Wonderland

A sequel to The Little Shark, where Derek finds himself in a bizarre world with a monstrous ruler, and another not-so-welcome face. (contains some violence and blood)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3


Christmas Index
Easter Index
Recurring Character Index

Advertisements