The Blob and the Brain


Once upon a time,
In the village of Slimm,
Where little blobs lived,
There was one named Jim,

Jim worked as a butcher,
Serving little blobs meat,
The leg of a clooaloon
Was quite a treat,

(Even if, of course,
A clooaloon was small,
And to us,
Didn’t offer much meat at all.)

He wanted more out of life,
Our little Jim,
He wanted to explore,
Outside the village of Slimm.

He was advised not to,
It would be too much hassle,
Not too far from the village,
There loomed a large castle,


In this castle there lurked,
A rather crazy man,
A mad scientist only known
As Dr. Brainyman!

He was said to conduct experiments,
Ones disturbing and uncouth,
Plotting to take over
The entire Land of Sloot!

But Jimmy didn’t care,
So he slipped over the gates,
He saw mountains in the distance,
And thus he made haste,

Towards new horizons,
Places unexplored,
Marvellous locations,
Where he’d never get bored,

And maybe he’d find new animals
To hunt for their meat,
And then he’d serve them up
For the little blobs to eat,


Lo, there was a Giddidorn,
A strange and curious beast,
With a long neck and a long face,
Six legs with giant feet,

He shot it with his arrow,
But it didn’t even hurt
The creature, who ran towards Jim
And kicked him in the dirt.

All of a sudden, a giant claw,
Came out of the sky,
It grabbed onto poor Jimmy,
And lifted him up high,

Towards a certain castle,
Into a certain lab,
The home of a certain scientist,
Who was known for being bad,


Out from the shadows,
Stepped Dr. Brainyman,
‘My little blob, you’ll now be part,
Of my new crazy plan!’

Into a cage,
Went our little Jimmy,
‘Now my experiment
Can begin in a jiffy!’

He injected Jimmy,
With a liquid bright blue,
And after that, our Jim,
He grew and he grew!

‘Destroy! Attack!’
Brainyman yelled to Jim,
But the blob approached the scientist,
And quickly ate him.

There were advantages to
Jimmy’s new form,
He could hunt Giddidorns,
Better than ever before!


The Funny Robot

I’m a scientist, and one day I thought,
The world is much too vile,
So I’ll build a great machine
That would make people smile,

So I made a robot,
One who would tell jokes,
One to make the people laugh
And also give them hope.

I got every joke book I could find,
And put them in his brain,
As well as movies and TV shows,
So he knew how to entertain.

His brain was filled with the thoughts,
Of comedians old and new,
A bit of Charlie Chaplin,
And some WC Fields too.

I then activated my robot,
Flicked the switch right on his back,
And as soon as I did,
He laughed and laughed and laughed.

‘So you have a sense of humour,’
Said I, ‘Now for a test,
You must now tell me a joke,
Come on, tell your best!’

The robot turned to me with a smile,
And he grabbed my throat,
And he said, ‘The human race,
Now that’s the biggest joke!’