Christmas with Danny the Camel and Julie the Rat

This story features two characters from my book Barking Benjamin, a dancing camel who escaped from a circus and a rat who is an aspiring musician. This is not canon with the book, however.


It was nearly Christmas,
It would come really soon,
Yet Danny the camel,
Was feeling quite blue.

He had Christmas spirit,
Indeed he had that,
But no gift for his best friend,
Julie the rat.

What to get her, he thought,
Would should I give?
I gotta have something
To surprise her with.

He had no money,
And couldn’t go the store,
But would they have what
A rat would be looking for?

Maybe a new guitar,
thought he, that would be a good plan,
but then again, I can’t make one,
I don’t have any hands.

He walked along a road,
Thinking and thinking,
When he came up blank,
His stomach was sinking.

Just then he saw something
Lying on the ground,
A half-eaten chocolate bar,
That’s what he found.

He picked it up with his mouth,
But he didn’t eat,
Just then, Julie arrived,
And said, ‘What a feast!’


She ate it all up,
And gave Danny a kiss,
‘Thank you, my friend,
What a wonderful gift!

‘Now to give you my present,
Do with it as you please!’
What was Danny’s present?
An old lump of cheese.


We Think of Christmas in November

We think of Christmas in November
So we can prepare early

We think of Christmas in November
Because when it’s cold
Because when it’s raining
Because when you go to work and it’s cold and it’s raining
We have something happy to think about

We think of Christmas in November
Because we’re impatient

We think of Christmas in November
Because the pantomime’s at Christmastime
And two months is more than enough time
To read Cinderella
Before seeing the stage adaptation

We think of Christmas this November
So we can think of Santa
The wrinkled old man with the silly-looking hair and association with the colour red
Who’s actually nice

Cowboy Land

I once saw a movie on TV,
About a weird theme park,
One based on the Old West,
With robots in cowboy garb,

People paid big money,
For they thought the park would thrill,
But the robots went crazy,
And people they did kill,

The film it did inspire me,
My own theme park I would make,
But I knew adding robots,
Would be a mistake.

I didn’t have big money,
But I had imagination,
I’d create something big,
With that film as my inspiration,

It’ll be great, I told myself,
To it people will dash,
They’ll play around in my little world,
And they’d give me cash,

I built what I called “Cowboy Land”,
Right in my back garden,
Complete with a sandpit desert,
And buildings made of cardboard,

I had no evil robots,
But I had a broom,
It soon had arms made out of wire,
And its head was a balloon,

On went a coat,
And on went a hat,
I had a homemade cowboy,
And I was very proud of that,

‘Look at Cowboy Land!’
I stated with joy,
‘Much safer than that movie,
Just look at that cowboy,

‘He isn’t a scary robot,
So he can’t cause any harm!’
I was suddenly silenced when
The cowboy raised its arm…

Imaginary Friends

I had no imaginary friends when I was a kid.
No-one invisible sat by my side.
The broken vase was my fault.

Any friends I had were flesh and blood.
But they went away.

I had no imaginary friends when I was a kid.
I played sports with real kids.
I talked to real kids.

Any friends I had were flesh and blood.
But they went away.

I had no imaginary friends when I was a kid,
But I have them as an adult.
Lots of them.

They all laugh at me.