This poem is a follow-up to my earlier poem My Haunted Home.
I’ve told you about my haunted home,
A creepy place where spectres roam,
A hanged man, a horse and a big skull head,
All three of which are my best friends,
Well, I have another pal,
A living human whose name is Sal,
I thought that he might like to see,
My ghostly little family,
So I had him meet the ghosts one day,
And he didn’t scream or run away,
He approached them and said, ‘You see,
I have some questions for you three.’
He turned to Emma, the ghostly horse,
He asked where the Headless Horseman was,
And why she wasn’t pulling a phantom hearse,
Hearing this made her quietly curse.
‘Can’t I just be a spectral mare,
By myself with my back bare?’
‘No, a ghost horse should always have a rider,
She should have a haunting knight beside her.’
So with that, away Emma ran,
And Sal asked Jimmy, the hanging man,
‘That noose round your neck, doesn’t that hurt?’
‘You do know I’m a ghost, you berk?’
‘Well,’ Sal asked, ‘what do you do?
Do you haunt those that wronged you?
Do you seek those who put you on that noose?’
‘No, actually I’d rather watch the news.’
Stan the skull said, ‘Okay, calm down,
I’ll make some food, I’ll make it now.’
His jaw slammed open and a pie came out,
Sal said, ‘I’m not eating that, it’s been in your mouth.
‘Besides, giant skulls shouldn’t be making pies,
You should float around and terrorise,
You should be scaring people for heaven’s sake,
Not in the kitchen baking cakes!
‘And besides, the pie smells bad!’
And hearing this made Stan quite mad,
So he breathed fire in Sal’s direction,
He ran and he asked no more questions.
After Sal left, I thought we should eat,
What came from Stan’s mouth, the tasty treat,
I, Stan, Jimmy and Emma as well,
We ate the pie cooked by the fires of Hell.