Santa’s Pets


We all know Santa has reindeer,
But let’s not stop just yet,
For let me tell you something,
About Santa’s other pets,

You may not know about them,
But they come every year,
And they help their master,
In spreading Christmas cheer,

Santa has a pet rat,
And on Christmas Day,
He comes to your house to collect,
The stuff you threw away.

Every piece of wrapping paper,
Each unwanted gift,
Even bits of fruitcake,
He takes with movements swift,

He puts every bit of rubbish,
Into a bin bag, big and fat,
And that night distributes it all,
To every little rat,

And here’s another pet,
I would like you to meet,
He is the Christmas Vulture,
And he distributes meat,

If the dog ate your Christmas turkey,
If your dinner needs a bird,
The Christmas Vulture then swoops in,
And without saying a word,

Plops onto your table,
What will be your main course,
Though you must pluck and roast yourself,
Your gift, the avian corpse.

These are Santa’s pets,
And they work during this season,
They aren’t celebrated or well-known,
Though I guess there’s a good reason.


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